Monday, April 13, 2015

Adults and Stuffed Animals

Anyone who knows me at all find out quickly, I LOVE TOYS. Like will be in my house alone playing with my ponies. I have almost all of my childhood stuffed animals, because the thought of them ending up unloved in a thrift shop kills me. Mostly Im a functional adult, who pays her bills (unless im outta money? who hasnt been there...) Is finishing an intensive BFA program and trying to launch a small business. But at night, when Im not with Handsome Gentleman Friend, I sleep with my bear. His name is Binky. I have had Bink since I was 2, when my old bear, Buddy, went missing on a shopping trip. I have a memory of a kid running up and ripping him out of my hands, but no one can corroborate so I could be one of those made up memories... At any rate my poor mother tried everything to get him back, even took out a want add. A carbon copy of Buddy was purchased which I rejected, he was an impostor! He lives with my mom currently, his name is Theodore and we have come to terms that he isnt an actual impostor, but I digress. Binky I pick out myself, and I remember, some large department store, rows of plushies and bins, and I found Binky. We were meant to be.He came with his name, a little tag on his ear my parents read to me. After that we were inseparable.

Bink has gone just about everywhere with me.As a kid he came on sleep overs and to my grandparents and Aunts houses, to school sometimes even. I remember when I had a sleep over and realized I would be the only one with a security bear and had to hide him in the toy box and was miserable the whole night, and felt so guilty. He was the leader of my toys, and had to live in the commons? But we all survived. Once I accidently left him on some train tracks for an entire night. We were at my dads indie auto shop, which had train tracks running behind it. My sister Tess and I were playing (yes on the tracks, oh the 90's) and it wasnt until we got home I realized Binky wasn't with me. I cried to much, and my loving father told me stories about him being hit by trains and devoured by raccoon's and coyotes. Miraculously the next day he was out on the tracks, with that smell fabric gets when toasted by the sun. Turns out the train tracks there were no longer in used, hence why we were allowed to play on them, and you thought my dad was negligent! Well, he was just not about that.

What brought all of this up? Well, I still sleep with Bink as I mentioned before. I turn 30 in 2 months and I sleep with my bear. Not every night, but sometimes I need someone to squeeze and GF is not there. This is normal but the other night GF and I crashed at my abode for the first time in a long time. My house is kind of inconvenient for alot of the stuff we do on weekends so were not there alot. Anywho, I moved Bink to the dresser where he resides when he isnt on my pillow or in my arms and my handsome man and I dozed off to sleep. The next morning I woke up, with GF wrapped around me in warm embrace. I realized I was wrapped around another man though...Binky! I had apparently reachout up and grabbed him in the night but have no recollection of this. GF smiled and didnt make fun of me when he realized his grown ass girlfriend was sleeping with her bear. (He is well aware of Bink, I brought him up early in the relationship because love me love my bear.. and my cats.. and my fish.. and..) This was weird for me though, but I chalked it up to a few beers and not feeling great the day before.

Then yesterday I fell down a rabbit hole of the internet as Im prone to doing. I found this great article by a gal named Daisy here:

Its such a sweet story and something many of us Plushie owners have had to contend with. So I follwed the links from the articles to Realms of Gold's Website, then Dr. Beths Blog...

After spending half a day reading stories I stumbled across some pictures of a bear that looks JUST LIKE BINKY. It came with a video, which i started watching and realized was RIDICULOUS. It had a slow version of "I would walk 5000 miles" and I paused it and started showing it to GF in hopes of some good laughs when... the tears started. I have no idea why, or where they came from. But by the end of the video I was a mess. Handsom who was laughing and joking stopped and was geniunly concerned. His girlfriend was loosing her shit over a video of a bear being reconstructed. Im tearing up now thinking about it. The idea of anything bad happening to my bear is the worst thing in the world. Literally the worst thing that could ever happen to me would be loosing my bear. He's been with me through Tough times, good times, moving and moving and moving and moving and moving out and detroit, evictions, couch stays, long trips, everything. I will cry more for his passing them many members of my own family for one simple reason, he was there when they weren't.

So this is my confession. I love my bear. No shame! Plushie owners unite!!

Pictures from Handsome return from New Orleans on Valentines Day surprising me with gifts in an arrangement with my best friend


  1. THAT IS SO CUTE UGH!!! It's ok I buy hello kitty pillows and get angry when Train kneads on them.