Triumphant Return of the Wondering Honda

So much has happened where do I begin? Well, I guess with Darlene's adventure since its fresh in my mind. I also did a ton this week which Ill updat you on later ;) On Friday I headed to work and left her at the BART like I always do. This weekend was going to be awesome as I had saturday and sunday off Gentleman friend and I were to head up to Lake Shasta and spend a wonderful, adventurous and romantic weekend away. So worked all day, and headed to GF's house that night to be ready for adventure!!!

Saturday we got up early and drove for 5 hours up to Redding and Lake Shasta. It was 110 degrees, and there was a lot of smoke from the fire in the foothills. But the lake was beautiful, and since it was so warm and toasty we decided to take a tour of the Caverns, which were a chilly 58. First we took a ferry across the lake to a privet road, where we took a bus to the cavern entrance. Our tour guide, Jess, was much like the tour guide we had at Winchester, 19-21 and bored out of his mind with this summer job. But Jess gave a good tour and had a sense of humor. And the Caverns were AMAZING!! We went through a few rooms, learned the history and viewed the formations. Mount Shasta is almost all limestone, so easily worn down but also great enviroment for stelagtights and stelagmites. plus cave bacon (yes BACON, a formation of calcium deposites that looks alot like bacon) and many other things, hence the caves. GF once again was reminded not to bump his head or shoulders on the tiny cave roof and hanging stelagtites.

 It was really beautiful, and I hadnt been there since I was a kid. as we exited the cave I got a little shakey and decided I was prolly dehydrated so my wonderful man bought me some sports drinks in the giftshop and we chugged. Then decided we should go swimming int he lake before heading into town for some dinner.

On the way to the beach I got a call from my neighbor Shawn, she told me the police were looking for me, my car had been stolen and recovered in a crime spree! The hilarity insued there after. And by that I mean the police are a joke. After 40 minutes of calls it was deemed I needed to file a report urgently or they would have to let the guys go. So I was told (after the most frustrating exchange in the history of phone calls) to go to the Redding police to file the report then head home.

GF and I made it there in about 15 minutes and proceded to wait in from of te station in 110 degree weather for 20 minutes while NO ONE APPEARED. Eventually an annoyed receptionist magicaly appeared and let us into a ghost of a lobby to wait ANOTHER 70 MINUTES. We decided Redding actually had no police, and headed home. But we did discover they have a Ron Swanson look alike, possibly a card board cut out, that is the face of the team.

We headed home, and I was a wreck. GF was AMAZING in every sense of the word, let me vent, make up ridiculous hypothosis' and basicly be a lunatic, even offered to talk to some of the EPICLY RETARDED people who are the spear heads of these companies. Its so kind of the police and Warren's Tow to hire ex coke heads and people with massive self imposed disabilities. Wait, their just dumb people? Shit. Anyway even with stopping for dinner and gas, we made it home in about 3 hours. It was now about 10 or so and I needed to file a police report, and was told to go to the scene of the crime and call BART cops. I informed GF we would be bringing lawn chairs and blankets, as they would think we were a higher priority if we were more of an inconveniance. It worked, Officer Estrada showed up super fast and was the most wonderful, functional and tolerable human being i had spoken to in law enforcement, possibly ever. I got lots of good paperwork done and returned to the 2011.

Sunday we couldnt do anything because Vallejo cops dont work on weekends. So GF and I started the day with Whoppers and a BACON SUNDAY at chain burger joint. ITS FANTASTIC. And the best way to drown your sorrows. Though bacon beer is pretty amazing.... Anywho, we then went to the Clothing Warehouse, a place of man sized suits at rock bottom prices. It was a wonderland of cheap, tacky and allegator skins!! We found a suit for the GF in man size that is SILVER for an up coming event. SILVER. Shiney and fantastic. He also got a pair of work shoes (italian leather), and red faux gator skin for $30 a pop, and silk boxers for $10. Such a deal!!! And so hot ;) We will be returning there soon I think. We saw a purple suit that screams date night!!

After that we went to Ikea. I love ikea.. its like a grown up field trip! He needed some cool shelves to make the man palace even more awesome. Also it was rib day apparently, and of course ribs were consumed. Here are some food picts of our day....

He hung out a little more and watched Wonder Woman with me before heading off into the sunset on his mighty steed. 

Today I got to retreive the poor little Darlene. Aunt Nan was a hero and drove me to Vallejo (which I am now calling ValleCUNT since this is also where I was rearended a few years ago and the CUNT sued ME.) and we went to the police station. Actually we went to the service yard first. Apparently this happens ALL the time as they have the SAME ADDRESS and the actualy Police Station has NO PARKING. Street only. but the Service Station has a visitor area... what for? The Shadow knows but he isnt telling... So we finally found the special little guys and got the release. I managed to NOT PAY the $331 fee somehow... my boobs? My general disillusion? The fact I had been threatening their jobs on the phone? Who knows. Check out the list of fees though!!

Report crime, $18

Next we headed to the impound lot, aka Warrens Tow, aka, Dan's Tow, aka Bob's Tow. Shifty? Sure. There the morbidly obese men (yes, all like 10 of them) informed me my dear little Darlene was FAMOUS! She had been involved with multiple crimes, and a Tazing!! Here's the Article!

Mini crime spree starts across bridge, ends with three arrested in Vallejo

Published By Times Herald

Posted:   08/13/2012 01:04:41 AM PDT

Times-Herald staff report
Three people were arrested Saturday afternoon following an apparent mini crime spree that started at the El Cerrito BART station and ended in Vallejo, a Vallejo Police Department spokesman said Sunday.

Vallejo police stopped a green, 1996 Honda Accord that had yet to be reported stolen out of El Cerrito at about 4:50 p.m. in the 800 block of 5th Street, when the two male occupants fled on foot.

A female occupant later identified as Rose Phillips, 21, of San Pablo, surrendered at the scene, and was found to be in possession of a purse reported stolen earlier that day by people visiting Six Flags Discovery Kingdom, Lt. Lee Horton said.

"The people had parked on Sage Street and gone to (Six Flags Discovery Kingdom), and when they came back, they found the purse had been stolen," Horton said.

Meanwhile, police pursued the two male suspects, who had to be shot with a Taser before being arrested.

The driver, Juan Latorre, 30, of Richmond, was a parolee at large who had shaved keys, a tool allowing thieves to open and start certain kinds of cars, Horton said.

Latorre, Phillips and Luis Nieto, 40, of Richmond, who had been the right front passenger in the car, were booked into Solano County Jail on suspicion of conspiracy to commit burglary, possession of stolen property and vehicle theft, Horton said."

 After $520 in fee's (290 for the tow, 55 a day for 3 days, 90 for the POLICE to remove STOLEN stuff from my car. Yes, I PAY TO HAVE THE COPS DO THEIR JOB. and taxes of course) She was mine again. Poor thing has more trash in her then when I drive her!! And everythings tossed. and theres a new dent. and FUCKERS CHANGED MY PRESETS! Ughh.....

Also she had like 3 weird gross greasy boy hats in her which I left for the police. at the station. I returned to get the case number so I can follow up with everything I have. Take my spite and wrath!!! So ya, now I get to be off to work. Joy of Joys. I will be walking to BART thank you very much. Rape is cheaper then Impound.

Special Thanks to Gentleman Friend for BEING AMAZING, Aunt Nan for BEING AMAZING and Officer Estrada for BEING AMAZING and knowing how to do his job. and a shout out to stoner dude who chatted us up at BART. Dude, you were so wasted. And yes, GF is that tall :)